I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
