found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
