sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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