I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
