im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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