so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
