I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
