My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
