Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
