We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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