we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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