ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
