I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
