she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize