Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
