so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
