WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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