i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
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Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
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I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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