I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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