i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
please come you make the beer taste better
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
