what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
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I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
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I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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