yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
