Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
