My hair reeks of homosexuality.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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