So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
