oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
