Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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