I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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