Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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