we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
