I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
