About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
