apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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