That's when you crack a 10am beer
In America we eat man semen.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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