oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
