I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
