1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
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Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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