So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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