she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well most of my day revolves around power hour
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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