Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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