there was a trapeze. enough said
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My ATM looks so different sober.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize