she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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