Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
