Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
dude. I can hear the air.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
