She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
