the new term for farting is butt boxing.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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