Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
