i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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