Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
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