Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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