Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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