Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
