forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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