its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize