I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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