plz talk dirty to me
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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