fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
