Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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