Taylor Swift is so right about you.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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