we have officially lost it.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
