i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
