So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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